Are we experiencing global climate change? Of course. The planet has always warmed and cooled for many reasons. Are we warming now? Well, it depends. Are you talking about weather or climate? Certainly the hockey stick model used by High Priest Al Gore to beat people over the head has been proven false. Data are used by both sides of the argument in any way they choose to support their arguments. Remember: Lies, damned lies and statistics.

1. I, the God of the Church of Global Warming, am a jealous god. Thou shalt have no other gods before me, not science, not logic, not facts. Inconvenient facts or truths shall be ignored.
2. Do not take Global Warming in vain or thou shalt be demonized as a holocaust denier, the lowliest of the low.
3. Man is the cause of all evil on Earth, and he should be wiped off the face of the planet. Unfortunately, that would leave Me with no worshipers, so I, the merciful, the munificent, declare that only the most evil should be wiped out immediately: capitalists, right-wing Republicans, hate-mongering talk show hosts and other such blasphemers.
4. Bow down and give up your fuel-wasting ways. Repent and sacrifice your SUVs and muscle cars. Sacrifice all to reduce your carbon footprint, or the God of Global Warming will drown all your polar bears.
5. Remember that Global Climate change is a man-made disaster of biblical proportions. Nothing can forestall your impending doom, but you must do all within your power to change your ways nonetheless.
6. Thou shalt proselytize to the four corners of the Earth. The tons of carbon pumped into atmosphere by thy private jet will be forgiven if thou art on a holy mission to educate the lowly masses that they should trade their economy to slow the effects of global climate change.
7. If thou hast too large a mansion or too large an appetite for luxurious living, and thy SUV spews fumes everywhere thou dost go, thou shalt purchase Carbon Offsets. These indulgences shall absolve thee of all guilt.
8. Thou shalt not criticize nations that covet thy wealth, for if thou art wealthy, thou art guilty, and thou shalt rend thy garments and gnash thy teeth, for appearances are important. Remember that the concept of one world government is pleasing to Me, at least as long as it is a Socialist government that requires all the people of the world to worship me. 
9. Thou shalt not steal, except in My name. Taking property from the evil rich or corporations is pleasing to Me if it stops them from contributing to Global Climate Change.
10. Remember "Inconvenient Truth" to keep it holy. Revere thy Gore and remember always that the Nobel Committee speaks on My behalf. Do not go forth and multiply for mankind is a plague upon the Earth. God hates you!