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UDP is Painful
(after Suicide is Painless - the theme from M*A*S*H)

Through early mornin' fog I see
Half-veiled threats of UDP
The posts would get withheld from me
Where would I get my MP3s?

Oh, UDP is Painful.
@Home Abuse is shameful
So get a clue and fix it if you please.

I try to make it through the day
I want revenge, to make them pay,
They're gonna hose us anyway,
And if you ask of me I'll say,

That UDP is Painful.
@Home Abuse is shameful
So get a clue and fix it if you please.

You say you will impose a cap
And stop your users' flooding crap
Not one account, though, did you zap
You take us for a bunch of saps

A UDP is Painful.
@Home Abuse is shameful
So get a clue and fix it if you please.

But just before the axe did fall
You went and said you'll fix it all
That folks believe you I'm appalled
All you have done till now is stall

A UDP is Painful.
@Home Abuse is shameful
So get a clue and fix it if you please.
Just 30 days reprieve now if you please.