FAQ Nazi
(after Dear Abby by John Prine)
FAQ Nazi, FAQ Nazi, why’d you email me?
I was postin’ along just as fine as can be.
I was just havin’ fun and was fillin’ requests.
Why do you complain? You’re just anal, I guess.
Signed, The Flooder.
Dear Flooder, Dear Flooder, would you get a clue?
I want you to know I ain’t pickin’ on you.
Your 200 megs is way over the cap,
Of 75! Now would you cut the crap.
Signed, FAQ Nazi.
FAQ Nazi, FAQ Nazi, you ought to get lost.
My ISP says I’m about to get TOSed.
If I don’t change my ways and observe your damn FAQ.
What’s wrong with my flood? I was just givin’ back.
On probation.
Probation, Probation, you know what to do.
If you’d just slow down then they’ll never TOS you.
You’re killin’ retention, you’re scrollin’ off posts.
If you don’t get with it, then, Buster, you’re toast.
Signed, FAQ Nazi.
FAQ Nazi, FAQ Nazi, they’ll never TOS me.
If you have bad retention get a real ISP.
You have no real power, your FAQ is a sham.
I’ll do as I please, I just don’t give a damn.
Signed, The Hoser.
Dear Hoser, Dear Hoser, now where’d you go to?
My emails are bouncing, they can’t get to you.
Account closed is the message I always get back.
It would all have been easy if you’d just read the FAQ.
Signed, FAQ Nazi.
FAQ Nazi, FAQ Nazi, now I am in charge.
I’m so goddamn witty, my ego is large.
It’s I who’s important, get down on your knees.
Your entire existence will revolve around me.
Signed, The Troller.
Dear Troller, Dear Troller, KERPLONK!
