Sixteen Gigs
(Sung To the Tune Of "Sixteen Tons" by 
Tennessee Ernie Ford - a collaborative effort with Bud in January, 2000)

I was born one night fore the Moon went away.
Turned on Dad's 'puter and started to play.

Streaked through Usenet like a lightning flash,
and told everybody to Kiss My Ass.

I up 16 gigs, and what do I get?
A letter from Cephus, but that's no sweat.
I have enough friends in "Alternate Troll",
And they'll all come to dig me out of this hole.

Well.... I got a letter from my ISP.
They said they were gonna cancel me.

I don't care 'cause what the hell.
I'll get a new account from AOL.

I up 16 gigs, and what do I get?
A letter from Cephus, but that's no sweat.
My account is hangin' by a tiny thread.
but I won't give up until they shoot me dead.

I've been flaming the groups till quarter to three.
Why is everybody ignoring me?

I keep tryin' and tryin' but it's no go.
I guess it's time to cancel the show.

I up 16 gigs, and what do I see?
A cancelled account that caught up to me.
I'm gonna go hide like a snake in the grass.
'Cause when dad.... finds.... out.... 
he's gonna Beat My Ass.........

All credit to the original artist.  Non-commercial, fair-use parody.

New words © 2000, 2001 IMNSHO.com